99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

I think we can all agree that America's all-time worst enemy is exercise.

(FAKER)

 

My older sister came over today, and you know what she did?

No, not force me to exercise with her. Well at least not at first.

The FIRST thing she did was get reasonably drunk. 

And that's entertaining in itself because Shannon's really fun and generally hilarious and when she gets intoxicated she turns into SHANNON 5000.

A half an hour went by and she sobered up a little bit- enough to turn to me and say "HEY. I've started exercising. You know what I've been doing?" I said no. And she proceeded to explain it to me four times before dragging me off the couch and having me do it with her.

At first I was excited! It had been MONTHS since I'd even done a push-up. (Back in the days of band camp when my band director forced the upperclassmen to do Bob Harper Strength Workouts- 

-try this, and cry.)

The workout my drunk sister and I did was called 99. 

99 jumping jacks, 99 crunches, 9 chair raises, 99 second wall squat, 99 second plank, 99 running leg lifts, and 9 push-ups. Then you repeat- but with 88. Then 77. Then 66. And so on. When you get to 11, you do an 11 minute run. 

Once I did the 9 push-ups, I was done. And went back to sit down on the couch and finish my mimosa.

Point is, it's easy to get excited at the prospect of exercising, and do it one time, or maybe even once every few weeks- but to do it a few times a week, or even every fucking DAY-

Wow. Wish I had that kind of consistency and dedication. 

WAIT. CONSISTENCY AND DEDICATION.

I NEED THOSE.

My abs hurt right now and I feel like it would be a really good idea to do the full exercise in the morning. That would be what a consistent and dedicated person would do. 

Dammit.

You know what else a consistent and dedicated person would do?

Follow through with things regarding my girlfriend. She's gung-ho about the whole taken-in-hand concept...she's told me before that she's always wanted someone to take charge- maybe to keep her dragon from setting everything good around her on fire? I'd like to be able to do that eventually. Put a stop to that, I mean.

And to do that I need to be able to say something to her and, through my actions, prove that I mean it. If I tell her she's not allowed to talk to me a certain way (aka calling me names), and if she does there will be a consequence (aka leaving the conversation for a couple hours aka HER FATAL FLAW) then that better be the goddamn consequence if she talks to me that certain goddamn way. Otherwise what will my word mean? Nothing. So if she can't trust my word there, how can she possibly trust me when I say I love her?

Consistency. Exercising everyday, not just when I feel like it. Being a rock for my woman everyday, not just when it's convenient and easy. 

I have a long way to go.